My oldest daughter (age 16) participates in a number of
Christian activities
At a recent competition, a woman approached my daughter who
was with a group of her friends and in an ugly way criticized her for the skirt
she was wearing. What was the offense?
Her skirt came to the middle of her knee rather than fully
below it.
“Don’t push the limits. Don’t even try!” my daughter was
told before the woman turned to walk away.
At a different, unrelated event that took place in the
summer, the facility was hot so my daughter rolled up her sleeves because she
was warm, and was denounced again for her dress by someone else. Why?
Her elbows were showing.
Let me quickly add what the comedic author Dave Barry sometimes
says in his writings when he makes what seems to be an outlandish claim: I swear I am not making this up.
Forgetting the silliness of the actual request for a moment,
these people seem to think that my daughter has the mindset of, “Woo-hoo…sailor!
Over here! Look at these elbows!”
We’ve experienced such things over and over again. At one
Christian school we attended the teachers were armed with rulers and routinely
made the girls stand at their desk while their skirts were measured. At another
event, my daughter had been sitting a long time and actually dared to cross her
legs, which resulted in one knee showing. A woman present made a huge public outcry
stating that she had five boys there and didn’t want them “seduced” by such a
display.
Really? Perhaps folks like that would prefer that Christians
adopt the Islamic burqa as our dress code standard for women as Muslims have
done. There would certainly be no worries of women showing too much skin then.
While I am sure that the same people who are against skirts
coming to the middle of the knee would caustically scoff at the notion of a burqa
for women, my reply is: not so fast. Why is the Muslim standard wrong and your
standard of not showing elbows or knees spot on?
The What and Why of Modesty
Those wishing to justify their female dress code actions
point to Paul’s statement in his first letter to Timothy where he says, “Likewise,
I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly,
not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by
means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness” (1 Tim.
2:9–10). Peter has a very similar set of verses for women in his first letter
that reads: “Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and
wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of
the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is
precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3:3–4).
Rather than simply plucking these verses out and reading
into them something that may not be there (an exercise called eisegesis, which is injecting one’s own
agenda or presuppositions into the text), let’s examine things in context.
Paul’s letter to Timothy is one where the Apostle is
instructing a young pastor on administering his church. Chapter two of the
letter deals primarily with directions relating to public worship. After a brief admonition on prayer, Paul then
makes his statement regarding women’s dress in church.
The Apostle first says that women are to “adorn themselves”,
which in the Greek (kosmeō) literally
means “to put in order”. Paul then uses three terms to describe what women’s
dress should be like in the church.
The first is “proper” (kosmios,
a word play on the word for “adorn”), which means “appropriate” or “respectable”.
The second is “modestly” (aidōs) that
simply means “common” or “ordinary”. The final term is “discreetly” (sōphrosynē), which refers to something
that is reasonable or moderate.
Note that none of these terms has a direct reference to
anything that is of a sexual nature, which is what many believers try to read
into the text. This becomes quite clear in what Paul says next in his follow
up: “not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments”. Peter says
the exact same thing: “braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting
on dresses”.
If it’s not a sexual concern that Paul and Peter have, then
what is the focus of their attention?
In the first century, women of means would weave gold
ornaments and pearls through their hair to call attention to themselves and
flaunt their wealth. The same was done with other jewelry and expensive
dresses. For example, in his work Natural
History (9.58) Pliny the Elder, a first-century Roman historian, describes
a dress of Lollia Paulina, who was the wife of the Emperor Caligula, that was
worth several hundred thousand dollars by today’s standards.
What is in the sights of both apostles is the ostentatious exhibition
of extravagant dress that calls attention to oneself, feeds pride, and takes
the spotlight off of what should be the center of attention in a worship
setting: God and His glory.
Another point worth making is that these verses do not
forbid the actual braiding of hair, wearing jewelry or nice clothing. Such things
sometimes characterize Godly women in the Bible and are spoken of positively
many times (e.g. Gen. 24:53; Song 1:10-11, 4:9; Prov. 31:22). Instead, the
thrust of both apostles’ arguments are that women should not pridefully call
attention to themselves so they are the focus in a worship setting vs. God.
Memo to the Skirt Police
There’s no doubt that both women and men can dress in a way that
aims at attracting the opposite sex. Deliberately fueling another person’s lust
is, of course, something that no Christian man or woman needs to engage in.
However, at the same time, I wonder if the same self-appointed
apparel police who are distraught over the length of my daughter’s skirt have any
concern with showcasing their own expensive items of clothing and accessories
in a way that pridefully sends a message to those around them, especially in a
church assembly? That’s what the Biblical verses that speak of women dressing
modestly seem to be addressing.
Those with a thimbleful of common sense will understand that
decrying the 1/8 inch overage in a woman’s skirt length or a revealed elbow
makes the Church look petty and downright silly. Moreover, a woman can have a
skirt that extends to the floor and still possess the darkest heart in the
room.
Instead of worrying so much over excruciating, legalistic,
Pharisaic-styled dress code details, perhaps we should all pay attention to what
Paul says in concluding his thoughts on modesty and women’s dress. I like how
Eugene Peterson’s The Message puts it: “I want women to get in there with the
men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest
fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it”
(1 Tim. 2:9–10).
